I’m in a bit of a rush this morning because the kids have their sports day today and I’d like to go watch them run at 9.20am. It's not vital that I go and I haven't told them that I will be there but it has been dawning on me recently that if I don’t make space to witness these small ‘life’ moments then they will just vanish into time.
Everything seems to be happening so quickly these days. This is one of the side effects of getting older obviously but it literally feels like yesterday that I watched Frank run at last year's sports day. While each day can feel long and arduous sometimes, the weeks themselves are flying past like autumn leaves in a breeze.
On my way to work this week I was struck by the change in colour of the trees around Ballarat. Ballarat streets are filled with deciduous trees. It starts with just a flicker. A touch of red or yellow in amongst the green. A few days later the whole tree is a fiery red and orange with not a speck of green remaining. It won’t be long till all the leaves fall away and the bare bones of the tree start shivering. Autumn really is the best time to visit Ballarat.
The kaleidoscope of colours is nature's way of treating us before the long and harsh Ballarat winter. Time is moving so quickly that it feels like we’ve only had a few weeks of summer. I put this fast forwarding of time down to not being entirely present in daily life.
I read an article from Madeleine Dore this week where she mentioned Patsy Rodenburg's work on being present and how we connect to society as three circles of energy.
The first circle has an inward energy where the focus is on yourself. Your energy is drawn into you. The second circle is about being completely present with a thing, person or activity. This is the circle of connection, of give and take, equity, intimacy and engagement. This is where humans thrive. The third circle is directed outwards. It is the energy of hosting a party or running a meeting. Your energy is focused on lots of people and things at once.
All three circles are part of our day to day living. I imagine an ever moving venn diagram where we ooze from moment to to the next, sometimes inward in thought, other times connecting to others. Some people will be more comfortable in the first circle while others only feel alive in the second circle. I like this idea of moving through circles, even if it's just a tool used to acknowledge what you're doing in the present moment.
I like spending most of my time in the second circle. I like connecting to people, however the older I get, the more comfortable I am spending time with myself, in the first circle. Often the time spent in calm and quiet reflection makes me a nicer person to be hanging out in the second and third circle.
I made it to the kids running race. They were both excited to see us and it felt good to be cheering them on. The work can wait. This blog can wait. The pressure I put on myself is entirely my own doing. When I take my last breath I want my head to be filled with moments of connection and meaning. Of cheering and supporting the ones I love. I want to be in the second circle.
