It’s my birthday week and I like to alternate my birthday celebration style. One year a party, the next, a quiet family affair - normally in Apollo Bay where I currently am right now. Disclaimer: I want it to be known that just because this year is an ‘off’ one it doesn’t mean that I don’t require some level of celebration from my family. It helps that my biggest fans are a seven and an eight year old, because kids that age know how to celebrate.
Ironically, the kids are the best measure of my success as a newly minted 42 year old. I like to think that most people use their birthdays as a moment to reflect upon the year that has been. I have certainly written about it here for the last four years. One year I went through and listed every birthday I’d had since I was 13 just because I could. It was fun to see what was important to me 30 odd years ago.
It's fun to think about what’s important to me now.
The last 12 months have probably been the most transformative I've had in a very long time, probably since we had Frank back in 2015. Rather than being a parent for the first time, participating in Future Shapers is the main catalyst for this current change but it hasn't happened in isolation. This has also been the biggest year to date for HUCX as we navigate growth and all of its challenges.
From a design perspective, it’s the first time in a long while I face the reality of people not being able to afford the type of design I do. After 15 years of freelance, I’m used to existing on the cusp of unemployment. I’ve survived many a lull but at 42 it grows wearisome. I know it's getting to me when I start to fantasise about getting a ‘real’ job. Every job ad I see I start to rationalise how my skill set will be transferable to the role of ‘accountants manager’ or ‘senior marketing coordinator’. I never take it further than my imagination but a 9-5 with annual leave sounds nice sometimes…
Something that has been more evident this year than any other is the complexity of life. The more I discover about myself, my family and friends and my community the more I realise just how weird and wonderful life is. Sometimes I wish I could take a photo to prove how truly diverse my day can be. The first image might capture me running in the dark at 6am. The second, having brekkie with the kids. Next I might be presenting a talk about stylescapes to a bunch of fashion students then I’m in a factory stapling battions to a roof panel. I’m having lunch with a community leader then crying in the car to the Moana soundtrack. Meeting future politicians to discuss pathways and then spending 45 minutes folding washing because I find it therapeutic.
When I was growing up I used to ask my Dad how his day at work was and for a good chunk of my childhood the answer was “same shit, different day”. I obviously love my Dad and he found joy in his work when I was older but reflecting on it now makes me realise how grateful I am to have such diversity in my day. I used to worry about not being a good designer if I didn’t spend all day doing it. I used to worry that I couldn’t give the right kind of support to Matt for HUCX. I used to worry that being self employed would make me a shitty parent because there is no sick leave or money left over, ever.
What I’ve come to discover is that all these intersecting parts of my life are what makes it so wonderful. It's the design background in the construction industry that works. It's the naivety and curiosity in politics that makes it so interesting. It's my ability to parent well with only $20 in the bank that makes me resilient. All of these areas of my life combine to create a situation that is uniquely my own. If everyone takes a moment to look back from where they’ve come I’m sure they’ll find an equally as twisted and interesting tale. I just happen to take great joy from sharing mine.
Coincidentally next week I’ve been asked by my beloved breakfast group for the Design Business Council to present at this month’s breakfast. Each month someone is asked to share their expertise on a topic and so far the talks have been awesome. I was extremely honoured to be asked to present and asked Carol (the boss) what she wanted me to talk about (thinking, shit I don’t have much to show right now) and she said “Jess, you can talk about your writing of course”.
WHOA! What? Some of the people I admire the most consider me a good enough writer to share my experience!?!
I’m super proud of this recognition. I started this blog exactly 248 weeks ago because I felt so uncomfortable about articulating myself in the written word (thanks to an english teacher in high school - fuck you very much Mrs Seabrook) that I set myself the task of writing 500-800 words a week to practice. Sharing, reflecting upon and rationalising (where necessary) the complexity of our life every week has become a really important part of who I am now, Jess at age 42.
Like all of us do over time, I've created another version of myself. A version who now loves writing. I look forward to my Friday morning sessions because I’ve come to realise that this very practice of writing has helped me make sense of the world. Speaking to my sister this week, she said I’m really good at taking a broad view of things. I never used to be like that. I used to get caught up in the weeds all the time but spending a regular amount of time reflecting, processing and then articulating (over-share maybe?) events in my life helps add a useful perspective that really does mean that everything is either good news or a good story.
While this birthday is going to be a ‘quiet’ one I can not wait to spend it with my wee family, the thing I’m most proud of. Whether it's immediate family or lovers or a bunch of mates, I would argue that success boils down to the people you surround yourself with. Your tribe. In exploring the complexity of life, I’ve found the most content people I know don’t measure their success in material or dollar amounts. They measure it in time spent enjoying others. In giving back to their communities and most of all, the happiest are those who are truly grateful for what they have today.
