This morning I ran the 6km between Skenes Creek and Apollo Bay. This is one of my favorite things to do when I'm on holiday but it also is one of the scariest. The first half of the run has no footpath so I have to be on the road going head first into oncoming traffic. At its best, I have one metre of road to run on between the traffic and the cliff face, remembering I'm running on the Great Ocean Road. At its worst there is about half a metre of road on a double blind corner which is absolutely terrifying.
This morning I felt particularly vulnerable. With the days getting shorter I have to run a bit later which means there is more traffic. I was on the road before 7am but there were still quite a few cars getting a head start on the easter traffic. There are about 4 points along the first three kilometres that are particularly dangerous. Today I had the worst case scenario where the road has a super tight corner with a massive caravan going one way and a car coming towards me. Of all the places we could pass each other, it was all at once on this double bind corner.
It’s scary.
In summer, I run at 6am so there is less likely to be traffic but today I felt like this run was a bad idea. Another interesting thing I noticed was how hard it was. Being fearful over those first three kilometres was exhausting. I only noticed how tense I was when I got to the half way point at Wild Dog creek where there is a walking track that sits safely in the bush separating the road from the beach.
The final three kilometres into town is like my own private menagerie. There are birds jumping on and off the track as I puff past them. Little fairy whens with their bright blue bellies.
What I immediately noticed when I got onto the running track and off the road was that I could breathe again. Not having to worry about the oncoming traffic seeing me and passing safely gave me the time and capacity to focus on what I normally do when I run. When I run, which has never come naturally to me, I like to focus on my breathing when my muscles start to burn. I remind myself that my body is able to do this if I keep my breath regular, my back straight and upright and I don’t worry about speed. All I need to do is keep doing what I’m doing and I’ll make it.
Being fearful during the first part of my run is a great reminder how restricting physical and perceived fear can be. Fear makes us question our capabilities and second guess ourselves. It erodes our confidence. Fear holds us hostage and commandeers even the most fundamental of resources like our breath.
I went on two completely different runs this morning. The first one was the closest to an actual near death experience I’ll hopefully experience today and the second was what you imagine a run along the Great Ocean road as the sun rises should be. It was restorative and empowering. It was hard work but I had the full capacity of my lungs to hold me steady.
When I got to Apollo Bay I ran straight to the main beach, took my shoes, socks and cap off and waded straight out into the ocean. It's one of life’s greatest pleasures, completely submerging yourself in the ocean at the beginning of the day. Whatever fear I felt on my way to get there was completely wiped clean by the cold salty sea. What a privilege. What an incredible way to start the day.
