If I leave the house at exactly 6.00am in the morning for my run then I should be running over the foot bridge exactly as the 6.02am V-line train to Melbourne is going under it. This morning I was sluggish so I had to sprint to make it on time but I managed to arrive directly above the 6-carriage long train as it roared only a few metres beneath me.
It’s terrifying in a thrilling way. The train is so close to the underside of the foot bridge that if you were a dastardly villain who chose your escape by running across the top of the train carriages you’d most certainly be decapitated. A rather morbid thought to start the day but it's sobering (and stoic) to consider your own death regularly, it makes you appreciate how alive you are right now.
Standing directly above a fast moving train is a relatively safe way to capture that feeling of life or death without being in any actual danger. Everytime it happens I can’t help but yell out a loud ‘whoop’ at the wildness of it all. It's scary but good scary. Unfortunately this week I had a slightly more ‘scary’ scary moment which has led to some interesting conversations about the difference between men and women…
Coincidently this story also takes place at 6.00am however this time Matt had just left to catch the train to Melbourne. Every now and then Matt will forget his house keys and have to ride back and knock on the front door to retrieve them. On this particular morning Matt had just left and I was doing one of my Apple Fitness strength videos. I don’t believe in workout gear so I was just wearing my PJ’s - a t’shirt and jocks whilst lifting my rather measly dumbbells when there was a knock at the door.
I immediately rolled my eyes - Matt!! Remember your bloody keys!! You’re going to miss the bloody train!! I swung the front door open expecting to see his annoyed face but was instead greeted by a strange man who looked worse for wear, waving a cigarette in the air asking if I had a lighter he could borrow. It took me a second to realise what the hell was going on because I had expected to see Matt.
In that second I had a few things to consider. First I was standing in a t’shirt and jocks with the front door of the house wide open at 6 in the morning. Secondly, I had to quickly access what this guy was up to. He seemed pretty wasted, not slurring drunk but definitely on something. He looked like he’d been sleeping rough, if he’d slept at all. He was apologetic for waking me up but that didn’t comfort me at all.
My instinct was to defuse the situation as quickly as possible. I had two sleeping babies inside that were my absolute priority. I told the dude to wait outside (obviously) while I closed the door, locked it and went inside to grab two lighters out of the stash we’ve collected over the years and returned to the front door. I gave him the two lighters and said ‘merry christmas dude’, he tried to give them back and I said nope, you can have them and have a good day, bye now.
I quickly closed the front door and locked it while I listened to him wander off down the street saying ‘what a good girl - what a good girl’. Alice had been woken up by the commotion so I had to explain to her what the hell was going on in a way that wasn’t scary. I told her that he just wanted a lighter and that it was sad that he wasn’t in a nice warm bed at 6 in the morning like us. We agreed that he must have a hard life.
From my perspective at the time, this guy could have been either a harmless but high hopeless dude who just needed a god damn lighter or a dangerous high dude who was knocking on doors to see if anyone was home. I gave him two lighters because I thought that he might not come back and rob us if we were good to him. I’m just lucky that he wasn’t that latter.
When I told Matt about the situation later that night, he went nuts - what the fuck, I would’ve told him to get the fuck out of here. What the fuck!! This is the difference between men and women. My instinct was to defuse. I needed this dude to leave my front porch in an orderly and calm fashion. I was so vulnerable in just my t’shirt with nothing to protect myself. I was complicit as a way of keeping the unwanted interaction under what little control I had. Matt’s idea of confronting the guy wasn’t an option at all for me. What if he had a weapon? I had no idea so I made light of the situation, as if this happens all the time, got him the lighters and wished him a good day! It’s fucked really but it illustrates beautifully the difference between men and women.
Maybe I’m generaising because I’m sure there would be lots of women who would’ve told him to fuck off - heaps of them but there was somthing about the vulnerability of my situation which removed that option for me. I’m grateful that the dude was just a drifter who left stoked that he finally could light his god damn cigarette! It goes without saying that I won’t just open the door as freely as I did on that particular morning. Matt will have to verbally identify himself if he wants to get his house keys back from now on.
I would much prefer to create my own scary moments like the train bridge than have actual scary moments like our early morning visitor. The reality is that sometimes you don’t get a choice. I did have a choice to go on this week's ‘podcast of the week’ with Tif Cook which I wasn’t scared about being on at all. I loved talking to her! I am however just a tiny bit scared when these podcasts come out because I just get so excited that I rarely remember what I talked about at the time. Luckily this one came out great!
