I watched a video years ago with Chris Do coaching a group of people that has always stuck in my mind. In the video he was emphasising that if he was going to invest time and energy in their development then they had to do everything he said. Everything. Otherwise why bother. At the time that felt like a provocative statement to make. To trust someone so completely that you'd do absolutely everything they asked of you felt like a special kind of relationship that I didn't fully understand at the time.
Reflecting back on it now I can see that he was looking for coachable people. He wanted to invest in people who would be proactive learners and not passive ones. I would argue that most of us are passive learners, we almost have to be because of the constant stream of ‘how to's’ and ‘what’s best’ content that we’re bombarded with every time we look at a rectangle. There is simply too much advice to take on. It’s like trying to take a sip from a fire hose on full blast.
When advice is measured and purposeful it’s far easier to consume. The question then becomes where are you getting your advice from? Do you have trusted sources? Are they online or fleshy? I have a mix bag but am definitely more into the fleshy style of coach, or mentor if you prefer a simpler term. This doesn’t mean I don’t spend a substantial amount of time with online mentors. They’re fantastic because you have 24 hours access via their content. I must’ve watched hundreds of hours of Chris Do YouTube channel, the Futur over the years. Currently, I’m a huge fan of Vinh Giang and spend a decent amount of time watching his long format videos on mastering communication skills.
This week I had a night in the city to catch up with some of my human mentors in the flesh. As an associate member of PSA (Professional Speakers Australia) I got a 90 minute session with a mentor and I was lucky enough to be teamed up with Warwick Merry. Warwick is one of Australia's best MC’s with over 30 years in the game. As a newbie, his advice is gold and his company is even better. One of the main things we were talking about was self promotion and making sure you’re seen by the people you want to pay you.
I explained my latest Instagram campaign of 100 videos in 100 days and he asked why I wasn’t putting the videos on Linkedin and YouTube. I tried to argue that the content wasn’t quite right for those platforms but he just kept pushing back - why not? Who’s going to pay you to speak - someone from Linkedin or Instagram? Don’t waste content Jess. He was right so after our delicious bowls of pasta and tiramisu on Lygon street I went back to the hotel and set about posting everything, everywhere, much to Matt’s annoyance as he tried to get me out the door for our kid-free night out in the city.
The next day I trammed to Albert Park to see my mentor and good friend Dimitri Antonopoulos to talk about everything really but we do get stuck into books and writing them. Over multiple cups of coffee, the polite scheduled hour turns into two as we leap from one conversation to the next. It’s such a productive and wonderful way to spend one’s morning. Again, I walked away with action items and the energy and intention to smash them.
I don’t take any of these sessions for granted and often think back to that video with Chris Do years ago. To be a good mentee you have to be coachable. There is no point in me spending all this time with Warwick or Dimitiri or anyone else for that matter, to not then action the advice given. I’ve worked hard at being coachable over the years. It stems from being resourceful and not wanting to let anything go to waste.
There will always be a risk of acting on bad advice but I really hope that you don’t have people in your life that would deliberately dish it out. We need to be vigilant and more research is required to lock in online mentors but they’re there if we look. Most people want others to succeed and are happy to share their knowledge if it’s well received and appreciated. Taking one's advice and acting on it is one of the quickest ways to build trust in a relationship. It doesn’t have to be huge life changing advice either, it can simply be watching a movie that someone recommended so you can talk to them about it later.
I’m going to finish with a comment I got from Tara Saxon after last week's blog where I wrote about the “Identity Tax Statement” and launched my new paid subscription - which nobody has signed up for by the way!
“I gave you a framework for one evening. You did the actual brave thing. You looked at your own Identity Tax Statement, felt the discomfort, and moved anyway - within the week. Most people feel the confrontation and file it away. You launched, made the ask, and put a real number on your own value. The 26/27 statement is going to look very different.”
