This week I had my first ever public speaking engagement. I was the MC for an event hosted by AGDA at NGV as part of Melbourne Design Week. This was a big deal for me and it didn’t matter how much I prepared, I always knew I was going to be nervous.

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This is not surprising. I should’ve been nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before. The most people I’ve ever addressed in person was thanking the guests at the kids birthday parties and even then I felt nervous doing so.

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There is this really unhelpful assumption that everyone knows what they’re doing all of the time. When I was asked to MC the event I jumped at the opportunity but it slowly dawned on me that I was going to have to stand up in front of a bunch of strangers and talk.

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I mentioned a few blogs back about an English teacher in high school making me stand up and read out loud - I recall it as one of the most terrifying moments of my youth. I also clearly remember doing a speech as part of an extracurricular class… The woman marking my talk said I let myself down by finishing with an ‘um’. 

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25 years later and after all the experiences I’ve earned and gained, it's these two memories that jump to the front of the queue. Jerks. For weeks I’ve been having an internal battle between my inner coach and inner critic. People who host events always look so calm and cool. They pronounce people's names correctly and their hands don’t shake… At least that's what I was telling myself.

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I think what tripped me up was that silly assumption that I should be good at it on my first go. It really helps to step back in situations like this and imagine what you’d say to your kids or to a friend. ‘It's the first time you’ve done anything like this - of course you're going to be nervous, but it's a ‘good nervous’. The ‘nervous’ of doing something new!’. This is what my inner coach was calmingly whispering into my ear.

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The event itself went well. The crowd was smaller than expected but there were still 40 plus people. The speakers were all so professional and more importantly, natural. I noticed one thing that all of them did was to confidently ask questions. ‘Is that where I stand? How does that mic work? Can I have some water?’ I know it sounds silly but seeing this type of behaviour reminds me that I can ask questions as well. ESPECIALLY if I’ve never done it before.

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No one expected me to know everything, that was something I’d brought on myself and as soon as I let it go, I started to settle in and have a good time. In hindsight I should’ve asked another 10 questions before I got on stage but I did a pretty good job overall. I only mispronounced a handful of words which is not too bad.

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To be honest my favourite part of the night was hanging out with the guest speakers. Being the MC is an awesome opportunity to make sure everyone is ok and feeling comfortable. I really enjoyed that part of the gig.

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I have a few takeaways from the night. 

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1. It's not about you! It's about them. I mentioned this last week but it really is true. It didn’t matter that I was up there sweating under the spotlights - what mattered was I made the speakers feel good and appreciated and that the audience knew what was going on and were enjoying themselves.
2. I was asked to MC because I’m Jess Kelly. I’m extremely grateful and humbled that people I really admire thought I was the best person for the job. That's pretty cool.
3. If you're MC, wear a watch! Rookie move! Jeez, I’m meant to be keeping time and making sure I move speakers on and off stage but I didn’t have a watch on! I don’t know what I was thinking! Wear a bloody watch next time Jess!
4. Move the mic to you - you don’t need to tippy toe!
5. Cheerleaders are the best!

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I’m so incredibly grateful to have such a generous and encouraging group of friends. Perhaps because I’d let so many people know about the event - this blog alone is pretty good evidence of my oversharing nature - I had lots of people wishing me luck. Lots of people sharing their experiences and advice. People do things like this all the time. Presentations, interviews, meetings, events… 

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Everyone is so busy that we often forget to share what we are up to in our life with those who care about us. For some reason it feels like it could come across as bragging or showing off. The reality is of course, that if we don’t share the milestones, we can’t celebrate them.

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If I had kept my nervousness all to myself I wouldn’t have received all of the awesome encouragement from those around me. And without that encouragement I probably would’ve had a full blown panic attack and not enjoyed myself at all.

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The event itself may not have been the ‘mighty ducks’ moment I’d imagined it was going to be but it was a pretty awesome challenge and a real professional milestone. Surprisingly the ‘mighty ducks’ moment comes now, on reflection. When I think about how much effort the speakers put into their presentations (and the projects themselves of course). The camaraderie of working in a team to pull an event like this together but most of all, I feel so proud when I think of everyone who supported and cheered me on. Thank you! You guys are awesome.