This week has been another rollercoaster of emotions with the highlights balanced out by the low lights, thus making for a rather neutral ending to the week. I won’t bore you with the details but I did give a very detailed summary to a dear friend yesterday over the phone. Her first response was along the lines of ‘well yes Jess, this is you I’m talking too, I wouldn’t imagine anything else. Please go on…’’.
In all the years of being friends I’ve never answered “So, how are you?” with the response “same shit, different day”. That's what my Dad used to say everyday when he came home from work as I was growing up. Yesterday I had to start by explaining the story as a circular narrative so we just had to choose a point to jump in at and all would be revealed as we travelled around the story together.
This sounds rather complicated and also made me realise that I probably hog the phone conversation too much but it also highlighted the fact that my life, well our life; My family's life is an epic masterpiece! If you’ve read any of these blogs before then the idea of ‘good news or a good story’ will be familiar to you. This is the overarching theme of my life and I use it to process what happens to us. Every event, every encounter, every moment is either good news (so is worthy of celebrating) or a good story (which means there was a lesson to be learnt).
This theme in conjunction with the idea that ‘you’re always where you’re meant to be’ has given us permission to become pretty big risk takers. Taking big risks is an odd one, it's not exactly something you’d add to the top of the CV but at the same time nothing in your life will ever change if you don’t take at least some risks.
Saying hi to a stranger at the pub is taking a risk. Applying for a job you're under qualified for is taking a risk. Moving to Australia from NZ was a risk - the kids actually asked me the other day what would’ve happened if I didn’t move and I said - you wouldn’t be here! I never would’ve met your dad and we certainly wouldn’t be sitting here eating our burritos! The thought of this not being my life almost made me burst into tears!
Taking risks is a catalyst for change.
Not all risk taking pays off immediately or ever, sometimes. Some risks can lead to death even. Some risk taking doesn’t quite land as we expected and we come out looking like a jerk but this is when I refer back to the ‘good news or a good story’ theme. What did I learn? What can I do differently next time? How could I change the outcome for the better?
One thing I underestimate is how often I need to make small and large changes to keep everything growing and flourishing. When we had our first baby, my sister gave me the great advice to remember that nothing really lasts more than six weeks. Every stage of sleep regression, fussy eating, just being a general a-hole (hopefully) fades out after about six weeks - normally being replaced by another equally daunting stage, but the point is, nothing lasts forever.
This goes for both the good and bad. If we aren’t adaptable and willing to take risks to drive change for the better then we get struck, restless and worst of all, resentful. Being proactive by expecting and encouraging change is how my family and I have decided to live our lives. It can be tough and it can be extremely stressful and overwhelming but if I remember that ‘you always are where you're meant to be’ then I know that whatever the outcome, it will either be good news or a good story.
Every single one of us is living our own epic masterpiece. I’m not quite sure what genre my masterpiece would come under? Maybe somewhere at the intersection of family comedy, high octane drama and a construction manual tutorial. Whatever the theme it helps to remember that it's all relative to the individual. Appreciating and honouring that fact is where empathy grows from. When people we love and trust stand beside us as we measure up the risks we want to take, it gives us the confidence to take the leap, put our hand up or even just say hello to someone new.
