I just have to start writing. One letter after the other, slowly building up words to form sentences that express my thoughts or opinion about something. It’s pretty straightforward and you’d think after doing it for 119 weeks in a row I’d be getting better at it. Not today though. Today I’ve made the dreaded mistake of over-thinking it.
This has happened many times so I shouldn’t be surprised but for some reason I can’t stop myself. It goes against my nature to be under prepared. In every other aspect of my life I am organised. I have a plan or at least a general outline of what (I think) is going to happen. This brings me comfort.
When it comes to writing for this blog in particular, I find that the more organised or prepared I am the longer it takes to write, the more stressed I become when writing it and surprisingly the less ‘liked’ the pieces are in the wild. It’s like the efforts that serve me so well in other areas of my life are punished when I write this blog!
I’m sure that's not the case but it does have me wondering. What makes writing different? What do I find so stifling about being informed about a subject before I write about it?!? It doesn’t make sense or maybe it does and I’m just struggling to comprehend it because the written word is a new way of expressing myself that I’m not fully in control of yet.
It's like the act of writing has started to take on its own form. It was originally just a way of explaining what I’d been learning or had discovered that week about the world of design. A simple vehicle of getting an idea from my head to yours. I didn’t notice it at first but slowly, quietly and without any commotion the act of writing itself has started to grow into something formidable. Like the landscape taking shape as you drive along the freeway on a foggy morning. There’s nothing there at first but the greys get darker and the edges start to sharpen. All of a sudden it's something. A real thing that has always been there, hidden in the fog just waiting for me to get close enough to see.
I ‘write’ well, I was told this week. People have been telling me this for a little while now and it still makes me blush and brush off the compliment imagining they were only saying to be kind. But what if it's true? What if I can write? Perhaps I just need to admit that I actually love it, that I look forward to my Friday morning session every week and perhaps it is because I haven’t had time to prepare that I enjoy it so much?
This week I went to the online launch of Small Towns: Poems of People and Place by Melissa Watts. When asked where her poems come from she described the knowing pang of excitement when she discovers a line. A small sentence that sparks an idea. She builds upon the simple collection of letters and creates characters and context thus building out the poem. I found this insight incredibly powerful. All it took was a little spark, a certain combination of familiar words and you have a catalyst for who knows what? A poem, a blog, a book, even just a fleeting moment of appreciation for having had the thought itself.
Hearing Melissa talk about her process and being lucky enough to have some talented writers and authors in my friend circles has made me think more seriously about writing as an artform. Is it closer to fine art where the author, much like the artist, is expressing something within themselves for it to be received as is? Or is it more about the reader and do they determine the value of the author's work?
Coincidently I’ve been reading a lot about the act of writing recently. I found a wonderful books called Murder Your Darlings : And Other Gentle Writing Advice from Aristotle to Zinsser by Roy Peter Clark which is a collection of the advice distilled from all the writing greats. The book is overflowing with tips and tricks that will help improve your writing 100%. Simple things like the length of sentences. A long winded sentence that occupies many dark lines on the page and tends to be overly descriptive, even when beautifully written, may be diminishing and diluting the point that you are trying to get across to the reader. Sometimes just a few words will do.
It's encouraging that writing can be learned and improved upon. However, like any skill, you can only get so far alone. The quickest way to get better relies on the feedback loop. You’ve got to put your work out there to be critiqued so you can improve it. It requires vulnerability but most good things in our life do.
As the ‘written word’ continues to morph in front of me I have to be willing to let go of my expectations. I don’t think it matters whether I’m good or bad, I think it's more exciting to see what happens. I have no idea what I’m doing which is equally terrifying and magical at the same time. Maybe something will come of it and maybe it won’t. In the meantime I’m going to keep practising on you all and hope you at least derive some joy from my very public display of trying to get better at something. x
